Not Carter..........me!
My mantra this week is, "I will be fine. I will be fine."
We have no daycare this week. Our wonderful daycare provider is taking a much needed week off, even though she is missing them all terribly.
I took Monday - Wednesday off and Grandma and Grandpa E. are watching him the rest of the week. This is the first time he has been away from me over night. He has been away from Dad over night numerous times. The first time was when he was only a few weeks old because our furnace in our house went kaput and was leaking carbon monoxide. I packed him up quicker than I have ever packed for an extended stay and we took off for my Mom's house, with no idea when we would be returning.
I took Carter up there on Sunday night and spent a few days playing golf and helping my Mom around the house. Then Wednesday came along and after a rough night in which Carter did not sleep well, I was truly not looking forward to leaving.
We got up at our normal time and ate some breakfast, then Mom took over and I went back to bed for a while before I needed to leave. My nap was interrupted by a couple texts and phone calls and decided to just get up and get moving. I got myself ready and packed up my suitcase. Carter woke up from a morning nap crabby as a bear. He was hungry. So I got him some lunch and joined him before I left.
The moment arrived and I had been telling myself to not cry until you leave.
That did not happen.
I told him "Goodbye" and gave him a big hug and kisses. I lost it when I was walking out the door. Then he stood with my Mom on the driveway saying, "Bye! Bye!" as I pulled out of the driveway tears streaming down my face.
I cried hard for the first 4 blocks of the trip until I got to a Stop sign and pulled myself together. The first leg of the 2 hour drive consisted of small bursts of tears when I thought about Carter. I tried to distract myself a little bit by calling my dad but, he could not talk long.
I called my Mom's 30 minutes into the drive with the excuse that I had not said goodbye to my stepfather, which was true. My leaving was more of a "get going while you still have the nerve" quickness. So I said goodbye to him and then asked how Carter was doing.
He was fine.
I hung up the phone and cried a little and continued my journey.
I made it home and called again. He was great playing with his uncle Mason or "MayMay" as Carter calls him. I hung up and did not cry! I got busy doing the things that I needed to do, which went surprisingly quickly. I had forgotten how much you can accomplish without having to constantly check on a wee one.
Doesn't make this any easier.
A co-worker said that I needed to look at this way. First she asked me if I had spent time with my Grandparents when I was little?
Yes of course! I took trips with them, spent weeks at a time with them. Mom would come to get me and I would want to stay longer! So this is great for Carter, he will love it!
I will be fine.
She also said that He needs to get used to this because, he will do it more as he gets older.
It will be good for us both.
Very true R. You are wise.
I will be fine.
I miss him.
I will be fine.
